Menu-standard
Appetizers-Devilled Eggs, cheese plate
Salad-Potato Salad with egg, Cole Slaw (has mayo)
Protein- fried chicken
Vegetable - Green bean Casserole
Bread – Corn Bread
Drink - sweet tea
Desert -sweet potato pie, banana pudding, or peach cobbler
Menu-Vegan
Appetizers-Spinach and Artichoke Dip/Pitas, vegetable plate
Salad - Onions and Cucumber
Protein- red beans and rice with Vegan Sausage
Vegetable – roasted carrots
Bread – Biscuits/Vegan Butter/Vegan Sausage gravy
Drink-sweet tea
Desert -Vegan Red Velvet Cake
Everyone is welcome to eat from either category.
Optional Southern in 2019 Presentation
- The slavery south-What slaves were and why, economic importance, master/slave relationships
- The transition-what losing slave labor meant to the economy, free persons of color and new freedoms, the development of white resentment.
- 20th century southerners-new rights for women and persons of color, keeping traditions in new cultural environments, politics and segregation
- Symbols and historical accuracy-Confederate flags and monuments, KKK and other groups, who the soldiers really were, the Mason-Dixon line, northern and Canadian slavery, Native slavery,
- Combating the stereotypes -the role of women, Southern Democrats, racism vs bigotry, Appalachia, language
- Education and Advocacy-consider the source, be open to other views, safe and unsafe areas and companies, statistics on violence against LGBTQ2+
- Celebrate the values-respect, hard work, loyalty, spirituality, true cluelessness, the issue of privilege.
Hi Robin,
Thanks so much for reaching out and offering to host! The southern menu looks delicious!
Attached are our volunteer questionnaire - (redacted) is a 2SLGBTQ+ centered space, where we actively practice anti-oppression, anti-racism, and anti-colonialism. The youth are extremely knowledgeable and often have very critical conversations about the subjects that you've mentioned in the your outline. Names and pronouns are extremely important to us, so we will have name tags for everyone.
As you may already know, history has many different versions depending on who's telling it. I have a few questions about a couple of the points in the discussion outline: I am a little concerned about the part mentioning that slaves were of economic importance, and what the loss of this category meant for the economy. In my opinion, these points may be a little controversial in our space. Can you please elaborate on these ideas and what kinds of things you would be talking about?
Perhaps shifting the conversation from one that centers the economy, to 'slaves' as a category intentionally created by white supremacist settlers to stay in power might be more helpful for our group. Another idea would be to also focus the cooking, leave the conversation completely open, and see what the youth know about history. They are often very opinionated and know their stuff.
I've attached a volunteer form and questionnaire for you.
Tentatively, August 19th works for us. Once the forms are completed, we can establish and confirm the date (I will have to check in with my co-facilitator to see if the date works).
Thanks again for your interest,
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Those of you who know me will recognize the triggers right away. Here is my reply:
We've definitely got some "issues" to talk about! First, you need to know that while I am a support/advocate/whatever I am also straight and CIS which is often a problem in groups like this. I ALWAYS try to be respectful and understanding, but it may not always come across that way. There's a really good chance I could say the wrong pronoun or not even know what gender (if any) someone is exhibiting. I am woefully ignorant, although miles ahead of most in this connection. (The rest of this section redacted as it contains personal information)
I am not a Christian, but I am a deeply spiritual Pagan. Most Christian beliefs don't bother me--if they are truly helpful beliefs anyway. I've never had a conflict in working/dealing with those of any other faith, sexuality, color, or most cultures.
I certainly wouldn't want to be the cause of anyone feeling unsafe. Likewise, I want to feel safe and that is why I do the "Southern Belle" dinners and discussions. I am often judged as racist simply because I am from the south and have a deep knowledge of history which supports keeping symbols and statues as a piece of history. I get offended--truly offended--when others, especially those who have never experienced the culture of the south, try to paint anything related to the Civil War as bad and racist. We as a society have started to judge other eras based on what is CURRENTLY in vogue rather than by the laws and accepted behaviors of the time. Yes, slavery is wrong. Based on what we understand now, that is true for the time before 1863 as well but the reality is it wasn't considered wrong. Not even by most yankees who held slaves as well. It also isn't true that ALL slaves were treated badly. Many chose to continue to live with their "masters" after emancipation in situations not very different that they were in before the war. It is true that many were abused. It is true that freedom was/is better. But it is also important to remember that most slave "owners" valued their people and were quite fair. And I resent being vilified just because I am from the south and my family had one slave in 1860. I resent that the KKK changed what my southern flag (which was never a "Confederate War Flag") means to the public. Until the 1950's, it was never associated with racism of any kind. My protest is with the KKK, not the southern culture.
Since moving to Canada in 2000, I have often been the "victim" or target of hate toward Americans. This was especially bad immediately after 9/11, a time when I was feeling particularly vulnerable. Afghan girls at my daughter's school forced (an American) to eat dog food. Decorations connected the US were constantly stolen off my front door. I learned to let everyone think I was Canadian and keep my mouth shut. I'm not willing to do that anymore. The US has horrible, awful leadership right now. So does Ontario. But I am not in any way personally responsible for that. I can be patriotic without being a Trump supporter. That is the very nature of the American freedoms.
The point I'm trying to make is that some prejudices are just as "invisible", hurtful, and dangerous as others. Just as some religions vilify relationships other than vanilla, straight ones, some vilify Americans, especially southerners, based on what they perceive is truth. Some Christians say that the bible says homosexuality is wrong, even though it clearly does not, especially the original texts. These people believe and embrace that, regardless of what we say. This is also true for the southern US. Just because media (that they didn't have in 1860) says that slave owners were rapists and abusers, doesn't mean that ALL of them-or even the majority- were. While we now understand that slavery is wrong, they didn't think so for hundreds of years in every culture. Interestingly nobody talks about Canadian Slaves, or the ones in the bible, or those between native tribes. Nobody cuts down totems because a tribe once enslaved another.
I will get off my soapbox now LOL Give it some thought, or further discussion, and know that I am perfectly ok with not doing a presentation at all. I will, however, answer any questions with historical accuracy. I would do the same in any touchy situation unless asked for my opinion. In this case, and with the case of issues of "difference" my opinion will always be that it is dangerous to generalize and hurtful to hold the behaviors of others over those who choose to behave differently. And I will always believe that there is no good that comes out of apologies and reparations for sins that happened generations before this one. The world would be better served if we worked on current problems. "Practicing anti-colonialism" is worthy, so long as it is understood that one can't protest or address the past, only the present and the future.
The bottom line is that the south suffered greatly from the loss of their "workers". Lives were destroyed because somebody who didn't understand made changes too rapidly instead of how emancipation was initially supposed to happen. Imagine Canada if suddenly all of the minimum wage jobs were just gone--if we told every single employer, whether they pay above or below the table, that they had to pay everyone $20 per hour, only 8 hours a day for five days a week with no vacation, and that all of those people let go would have nothing to take with them and no hope of finding a better life. THAT was the post war south. Even with freedoms, persons of color didn't have opportunity. And because of the portrayals, prejudices, and morals of some, that continues to be an issue for many.
I also take issue with the idea of "privilege". I think that many people have privilege and don't realize it, and many didn't have privilege and are told they did simply because of their gender, race, or whatever. I was raised by a single mom before Welfare existed. I had little hope of college or a future beyond marrying and making babies. I worked within that to get more success than I ever imagined, but that wasn't because I was white or straight. In my opinion we have to stop with the judgements and just support and respect each other for where they are now, what they are doing for themselves and others now, and what they want in the future. I reject the idea that some groups intrinsically have "privilege" and others don't. PEOPLE do or don't, not races et al.
In any event "shifting the conversation from economy" defeats the purpose. Slavery was all about economy. EVERYONE except those of color, believed that non-white races were less smart, motivated and capable. People were racist but there really was no such thing culturally because it was generally accepted for hundreds of years. And in truth, it isn't slavery that we currently take issue with but rather freedom and bigotry--and freedom FROM Bigotry.
That said, if you are not comfortable with me coming into your space I completely understand. You have been educated, informed of historical truths, and know my intention. If you reject that, it is your right and I respect that. I do hope though that if you do reject it, you at least own that as your own prejudice with no less impact than the prejudices of others. Perhaps discussing it openly with the attendees before making any decision could help. Take your cues from them and if you think they are uncomfortable then that's that. Feel free to share this letter with them if you want.
Alternately, I'm happy to stay in the kitchen and make great food without interaction. I love to cook and I love watching people try new things and love them. It heals my heart. This "southern belle" stuff is only a fraction of what I do and it is in the forefront right now because I just released the cookbook I also teach genealogy, research the paranormal, play piano, and am addicted to cigarettes. There's more to me than being a southern woman, but everything I do is based on my southern upbringing and values. Anyone who rejects those just doesn't get what it actually means to be southern.
Give it some thought, and if you are still interested I will send you the volunteer application and the signed stuff from the handbook. If you need references, try (redacted), or any of the older people at BBUC. Except Gail. She hates me LOL
Best,
Robin
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And the reply came 90 minutes later.
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Hi Robin,
Thanks for your response. I spoke to my co-facilitator and it looks like we will be very busy with the creation of a promo video the rest of the year. It's due in December; with the recent staff changes, the logistics will take longer than expected. We'll let you know if our schedule clears up in the new year. We wish you the best with your program.
Thanks for offering to host,
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