It's a Day

It's one of those days when everything goes fine, it just feels a little disjointed. I woke up way early, then went to have coffee with a friend.

I was scheduled for a massage at 330 so I figured I had time for a a bit of shopping and a quick haircut. By the time I was done it was much too late to have the massage, and I asked hubby to call and let them know I wouldn't be attending. They were rude to him and that set me off.

I purchased this massage from Groupon, which is a great service for businesses trying to get people to try their product. I got a deep discount. I figured since they were close to my home I would see if I like them, then switch my ongoing physio and other rehab to the new place. But not now. Now I don't feel "safe".

That got me thinking. I used to go anywhere and just grit my teeth and go through it. Now, I'm a little more choosy about who get's access and profit from me. I've no time for rudeness, people who are not empathetic, and people who don't listen. I don't have the time or patience to shop or dine anywhere that does not have a sign or menu in English. I don't go there because I don't feel safe.

I'm not talking about safe in the physical sense, although that may be part of it in some cases. My safety needs extend to kindness, patience, and service. I'm not safe without good communication. I'm not safe without a quick escape should I have a panic attack. And I'm certainly not going somewhere that I am sure will GIVE me anxiety. Not without a really good reason at least.

So I'm not going to rebook my massage. I'm not going to patronize that establishment. Too bad for them too because I'm still getting lots of physio funding from my car wreck. They could have done very well.

I am starting to feel that way about friendships as well. I no longer have the time or patience to voluntarily deal with some of my "friends". For the most part, my online friends have been reduced already. Real life, face to face friends are next. A couple of people drive me absolutely bonkers, so very soon I will be closing the door to them. Both of these are women, both adults with children who are at least teenagers. One has lots and lots of problems that she doesn't even seem to be aware of. The other is a know it all who is always butting in where she hasn't been invited. In the past I would have just ignored it as best I can in both instances, but the truth is, I don't want to anymore. I want to spend my energy on real friends. I want to converse with others about topics we both enjoy, not just what the other person enjoys. I want friends who aren't competitive, needy, or untrustworthy.

If there is someone out there who feels like I am like these others, or that I in any way don't enhance their life, please do walk away. I don't want to be "that friend" the people just tolerate.

I enjoyed my hair appointment immensely. I even let the hairdresser put in a semi-temporary color. Teal! It should last three months or so. Then maybe I will do a rainbow!